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Shop Ridiculous Rapture Rhetoric - Masterclass
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Ridiculous Rapture Rhetoric - Masterclass

A$50.00

Ex-vangelical people, I am SO glad you’re here because I have the most amazing offer for you!

I have this very special masterclass available on Ridiculous Rapture Rhetoric - Deconstructing from the fear of the Rapture Doctrine.

This class has 5 video lessons, which include a no BS, totally unhinged and extremely informative deep dive into the Rapture doctrine that you can access for only $50.

FIFTY DOLLARS!

That’s cheaper than a therapy session for your religious trauma syndrome.

Rhetoric is language designed to have a persuasive or impressive effect, but which is often regarded as lacking in sincerity or meaningful content and that’s exactly what the Rapture doctrine is.

Evangelical churches have convinced and persuaded people to think the rapture is REAL and BIBLICAL when it is NOT.

As an ex-vangelical myself, I didn’t get to where I am now on my own. It has taken me 18 years to properly dissect, dissolve and deconstruct from the beliefs of my upbringing.

I have had a series of teachers, books and podcasts galore, personal experiences and of course my very assertive neurodivergent power of questioning authority figures.

Before deconstructing from this particular doctrine, surrounding the rapture and end times, I felt like I needed to do everything perfectly, just in case.

I was terrified of waking up to find my house empty, piles of clothes the only sign that the rapture had happened and I’d missed it.

Honestly, the amount of times I would shakily call out my parents names if I couldn’t find them was traumatising.

After being kicked out of the church, I drifted from from book to book and concept to concept.

I read ‘The Foundations of Christian Doctrine’ by Kevin J Conner, and ‘Learn the bible in 24 hours’ by Dr Chuck Missler, searching for answers to the questions I wasn’t ready to voice.

There was no real source or clear pathway ahead of me for this journey I was embarking on. The folks who wrote those books were soooooo convinced they were right in their beliefs.

But I wanted to know it deeper, challenge my own beliefs. I kept asking… Where are the critical texts?

I found ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins, but couldn’t get through it as his obvious disdain and dismissal of something that I still felt was real, was not nice. You could sense his opinion of christians as idiots a mile away.

I knew something wasn’t sitting right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

It also took FOREVER to read/listen/learn/filter/discard information in this manner.

SIDE NOTE: The rapture doctrine is not considered an indispensible doctrine in Christianity. You can take this class and STILL be a Christian.

This class is for you if….

  • You’re terrified of being left behind

  • You crave knowledge and facts around what scripture actually says

  • You want to dive deeper into the ‘why’ behind the rapture doctrine

  • You love to learn

  • You hate not knowing what you don’t know

  • You desire to have the facts to back up your current beliefs when questioned by family/friends who are still in the church

  • You’re concerned by the situation in Palestine and want to understand how Christian Zionism fits into the puzzle of foreign affairs

This class is not for you if…

  • You are excited for the rapture

  • You hate thinking critically

  • You’d rather do it all on your own

  • You’re not sure if my teaching style is up your alley

“Hana, this sounds amazing, but I have no idea what’s included yet!”

Never fear, Hana is here, and this is what you can expect.

INCLUSIONS

5 video lessons

5 video lessons, delivered over the course of 5 days directly to your inbox, + a welcome video, so 6 videos in total.
Lessons cover the following;

  • Differing viewpoints (pre/mid/post tribulationism)

  • Which denominations believe in this (and why)

  • Is the Rapture actually in the bible?

  • Where does the doctrine come from?

  • Key rules for new exvangelicals when navigating changing beliefs

  • Religious Trauma Syndrome

  • is the Rapture the same as the Second Coming?

  • What does the book of Revelations actually say will happen?

  • Questions for personal reflection

  • Who authored the book of Revelations and how should we read it?

  • Context at the time of writing

  • Who is the antichrist?

  • Letters from Paul

  • Phobia indoctrination

  • Cult tactics

  • Christian Zionism and the real world impact of the rapture doctrine

  • Does the book of Revelation predict our future?

  • Predicting dates for the rapture & cognitive dissonance

  • Additional reading recommendations


So you can stop stressing over whether you’ll be left behind, and begin living a life free from fear!

Now, I want you to pour yourself a cup of tea, choose a comfy spot and get ready to break those chains of fear!

P.S. Yes, this is neurodivergent approved!
The reason this class comes in multiple lessons is to keep your attention occupied AND I keep it as fun and lighthearted as possible for this subject matter.It’s a dense topic, and delivering it all at once would be …. a lot.
Expect memes. Lots of them.

I know you’re probably thinking this is an amazing offer, and it is!

I have been selling classes for over 3 years now! I’ve been listed in bustle, womens day and best life and you’re probs thinking what’s the catch?

At the moment this is being offered as a stand alone class, however it won’t be here forever as my plan is to include this class as a module in the ex-vangelical digital deconstruction course I am creating.

I’ve also been presenting classes and courses on the topics I love for 4 years now.
Here’s what one of my students has to say:

”I participated in Hana's candle Magick class recently. The class was packed full of information for the novice witch, like myself. Tips galore. Hana is generous with her time and gives ample time for questions. I highly recommend Hana and any class she would teach!” - Danielle Deskins

Again, what you receive if you take this class is 5 days worth of video lessons direct to your inbox giving you a full blown, easy to understand, look at the rapture doctrine and why it is FALSE so you can deconstruct from the fear associated with the rapture.

You’ll see the straight-forward tips and suggestions for dealing with family and friends still in the church. And, you will walk away with my a renewed sense of life!

Here’s another one of my happy students and customers:

I took this class as someone who has some religious trauma, but not from an Evangelical background. I found this to be incredibly informative and learned a lot that I don't recall from a Catholic upbringing. I also found it so helpful to process some things I didn't know I still carried. Hana has a beautiful teaching style which helps you through the hard stuff but keeps it light - so while it covers things in a great way, it lightens it up so you can sort of laugh through the process. highly recommend! - Brandi

Remember this is a limited time offer!

There’s low risk and big reward here folks!

You may have noticed that most of my classes are priced at the $80 mark so this is a huge WIN for you!

Don’t miss out!

NOTE: My church was not strict on the term “Book of Revelation” but I understand some churches were very strict on never saying “Revelations”. You will hear me call it Revelations a lot, and you know, desensitising yourself to the grammar strictness can be your first step in deconstructing this doctrine.

P.S. I am offering 5 free classes to folks who need this and can’t afford it. First come first served, no questions asked. Please email me at suburbanwitchery@gmail.com to access this.
[update: 3 left]

Quantity:
Add To Cart

Ex-vangelical people, I am SO glad you’re here because I have the most amazing offer for you!

I have this very special masterclass available on Ridiculous Rapture Rhetoric - Deconstructing from the fear of the Rapture Doctrine.

This class has 5 video lessons, which include a no BS, totally unhinged and extremely informative deep dive into the Rapture doctrine that you can access for only $50.

FIFTY DOLLARS!

That’s cheaper than a therapy session for your religious trauma syndrome.

Rhetoric is language designed to have a persuasive or impressive effect, but which is often regarded as lacking in sincerity or meaningful content and that’s exactly what the Rapture doctrine is.

Evangelical churches have convinced and persuaded people to think the rapture is REAL and BIBLICAL when it is NOT.

As an ex-vangelical myself, I didn’t get to where I am now on my own. It has taken me 18 years to properly dissect, dissolve and deconstruct from the beliefs of my upbringing.

I have had a series of teachers, books and podcasts galore, personal experiences and of course my very assertive neurodivergent power of questioning authority figures.

Before deconstructing from this particular doctrine, surrounding the rapture and end times, I felt like I needed to do everything perfectly, just in case.

I was terrified of waking up to find my house empty, piles of clothes the only sign that the rapture had happened and I’d missed it.

Honestly, the amount of times I would shakily call out my parents names if I couldn’t find them was traumatising.

After being kicked out of the church, I drifted from from book to book and concept to concept.

I read ‘The Foundations of Christian Doctrine’ by Kevin J Conner, and ‘Learn the bible in 24 hours’ by Dr Chuck Missler, searching for answers to the questions I wasn’t ready to voice.

There was no real source or clear pathway ahead of me for this journey I was embarking on. The folks who wrote those books were soooooo convinced they were right in their beliefs.

But I wanted to know it deeper, challenge my own beliefs. I kept asking… Where are the critical texts?

I found ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins, but couldn’t get through it as his obvious disdain and dismissal of something that I still felt was real, was not nice. You could sense his opinion of christians as idiots a mile away.

I knew something wasn’t sitting right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

It also took FOREVER to read/listen/learn/filter/discard information in this manner.

SIDE NOTE: The rapture doctrine is not considered an indispensible doctrine in Christianity. You can take this class and STILL be a Christian.

This class is for you if….

  • You’re terrified of being left behind

  • You crave knowledge and facts around what scripture actually says

  • You want to dive deeper into the ‘why’ behind the rapture doctrine

  • You love to learn

  • You hate not knowing what you don’t know

  • You desire to have the facts to back up your current beliefs when questioned by family/friends who are still in the church

  • You’re concerned by the situation in Palestine and want to understand how Christian Zionism fits into the puzzle of foreign affairs

This class is not for you if…

  • You are excited for the rapture

  • You hate thinking critically

  • You’d rather do it all on your own

  • You’re not sure if my teaching style is up your alley

“Hana, this sounds amazing, but I have no idea what’s included yet!”

Never fear, Hana is here, and this is what you can expect.

INCLUSIONS

5 video lessons

5 video lessons, delivered over the course of 5 days directly to your inbox, + a welcome video, so 6 videos in total.
Lessons cover the following;

  • Differing viewpoints (pre/mid/post tribulationism)

  • Which denominations believe in this (and why)

  • Is the Rapture actually in the bible?

  • Where does the doctrine come from?

  • Key rules for new exvangelicals when navigating changing beliefs

  • Religious Trauma Syndrome

  • is the Rapture the same as the Second Coming?

  • What does the book of Revelations actually say will happen?

  • Questions for personal reflection

  • Who authored the book of Revelations and how should we read it?

  • Context at the time of writing

  • Who is the antichrist?

  • Letters from Paul

  • Phobia indoctrination

  • Cult tactics

  • Christian Zionism and the real world impact of the rapture doctrine

  • Does the book of Revelation predict our future?

  • Predicting dates for the rapture & cognitive dissonance

  • Additional reading recommendations


So you can stop stressing over whether you’ll be left behind, and begin living a life free from fear!

Now, I want you to pour yourself a cup of tea, choose a comfy spot and get ready to break those chains of fear!

P.S. Yes, this is neurodivergent approved!
The reason this class comes in multiple lessons is to keep your attention occupied AND I keep it as fun and lighthearted as possible for this subject matter.It’s a dense topic, and delivering it all at once would be …. a lot.
Expect memes. Lots of them.

I know you’re probably thinking this is an amazing offer, and it is!

I have been selling classes for over 3 years now! I’ve been listed in bustle, womens day and best life and you’re probs thinking what’s the catch?

At the moment this is being offered as a stand alone class, however it won’t be here forever as my plan is to include this class as a module in the ex-vangelical digital deconstruction course I am creating.

I’ve also been presenting classes and courses on the topics I love for 4 years now.
Here’s what one of my students has to say:

”I participated in Hana's candle Magick class recently. The class was packed full of information for the novice witch, like myself. Tips galore. Hana is generous with her time and gives ample time for questions. I highly recommend Hana and any class she would teach!” - Danielle Deskins

Again, what you receive if you take this class is 5 days worth of video lessons direct to your inbox giving you a full blown, easy to understand, look at the rapture doctrine and why it is FALSE so you can deconstruct from the fear associated with the rapture.

You’ll see the straight-forward tips and suggestions for dealing with family and friends still in the church. And, you will walk away with my a renewed sense of life!

Here’s another one of my happy students and customers:

I took this class as someone who has some religious trauma, but not from an Evangelical background. I found this to be incredibly informative and learned a lot that I don't recall from a Catholic upbringing. I also found it so helpful to process some things I didn't know I still carried. Hana has a beautiful teaching style which helps you through the hard stuff but keeps it light - so while it covers things in a great way, it lightens it up so you can sort of laugh through the process. highly recommend! - Brandi

Remember this is a limited time offer!

There’s low risk and big reward here folks!

You may have noticed that most of my classes are priced at the $80 mark so this is a huge WIN for you!

Don’t miss out!

NOTE: My church was not strict on the term “Book of Revelation” but I understand some churches were very strict on never saying “Revelations”. You will hear me call it Revelations a lot, and you know, desensitising yourself to the grammar strictness can be your first step in deconstructing this doctrine.

P.S. I am offering 5 free classes to folks who need this and can’t afford it. First come first served, no questions asked. Please email me at suburbanwitchery@gmail.com to access this.
[update: 3 left]

Ex-vangelical people, I am SO glad you’re here because I have the most amazing offer for you!

I have this very special masterclass available on Ridiculous Rapture Rhetoric - Deconstructing from the fear of the Rapture Doctrine.

This class has 5 video lessons, which include a no BS, totally unhinged and extremely informative deep dive into the Rapture doctrine that you can access for only $50.

FIFTY DOLLARS!

That’s cheaper than a therapy session for your religious trauma syndrome.

Rhetoric is language designed to have a persuasive or impressive effect, but which is often regarded as lacking in sincerity or meaningful content and that’s exactly what the Rapture doctrine is.

Evangelical churches have convinced and persuaded people to think the rapture is REAL and BIBLICAL when it is NOT.

As an ex-vangelical myself, I didn’t get to where I am now on my own. It has taken me 18 years to properly dissect, dissolve and deconstruct from the beliefs of my upbringing.

I have had a series of teachers, books and podcasts galore, personal experiences and of course my very assertive neurodivergent power of questioning authority figures.

Before deconstructing from this particular doctrine, surrounding the rapture and end times, I felt like I needed to do everything perfectly, just in case.

I was terrified of waking up to find my house empty, piles of clothes the only sign that the rapture had happened and I’d missed it.

Honestly, the amount of times I would shakily call out my parents names if I couldn’t find them was traumatising.

After being kicked out of the church, I drifted from from book to book and concept to concept.

I read ‘The Foundations of Christian Doctrine’ by Kevin J Conner, and ‘Learn the bible in 24 hours’ by Dr Chuck Missler, searching for answers to the questions I wasn’t ready to voice.

There was no real source or clear pathway ahead of me for this journey I was embarking on. The folks who wrote those books were soooooo convinced they were right in their beliefs.

But I wanted to know it deeper, challenge my own beliefs. I kept asking… Where are the critical texts?

I found ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins, but couldn’t get through it as his obvious disdain and dismissal of something that I still felt was real, was not nice. You could sense his opinion of christians as idiots a mile away.

I knew something wasn’t sitting right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

It also took FOREVER to read/listen/learn/filter/discard information in this manner.

SIDE NOTE: The rapture doctrine is not considered an indispensible doctrine in Christianity. You can take this class and STILL be a Christian.

This class is for you if….

  • You’re terrified of being left behind

  • You crave knowledge and facts around what scripture actually says

  • You want to dive deeper into the ‘why’ behind the rapture doctrine

  • You love to learn

  • You hate not knowing what you don’t know

  • You desire to have the facts to back up your current beliefs when questioned by family/friends who are still in the church

  • You’re concerned by the situation in Palestine and want to understand how Christian Zionism fits into the puzzle of foreign affairs

This class is not for you if…

  • You are excited for the rapture

  • You hate thinking critically

  • You’d rather do it all on your own

  • You’re not sure if my teaching style is up your alley

“Hana, this sounds amazing, but I have no idea what’s included yet!”

Never fear, Hana is here, and this is what you can expect.

INCLUSIONS

5 video lessons

5 video lessons, delivered over the course of 5 days directly to your inbox, + a welcome video, so 6 videos in total.
Lessons cover the following;

  • Differing viewpoints (pre/mid/post tribulationism)

  • Which denominations believe in this (and why)

  • Is the Rapture actually in the bible?

  • Where does the doctrine come from?

  • Key rules for new exvangelicals when navigating changing beliefs

  • Religious Trauma Syndrome

  • is the Rapture the same as the Second Coming?

  • What does the book of Revelations actually say will happen?

  • Questions for personal reflection

  • Who authored the book of Revelations and how should we read it?

  • Context at the time of writing

  • Who is the antichrist?

  • Letters from Paul

  • Phobia indoctrination

  • Cult tactics

  • Christian Zionism and the real world impact of the rapture doctrine

  • Does the book of Revelation predict our future?

  • Predicting dates for the rapture & cognitive dissonance

  • Additional reading recommendations


So you can stop stressing over whether you’ll be left behind, and begin living a life free from fear!

Now, I want you to pour yourself a cup of tea, choose a comfy spot and get ready to break those chains of fear!

P.S. Yes, this is neurodivergent approved!
The reason this class comes in multiple lessons is to keep your attention occupied AND I keep it as fun and lighthearted as possible for this subject matter.It’s a dense topic, and delivering it all at once would be …. a lot.
Expect memes. Lots of them.

I know you’re probably thinking this is an amazing offer, and it is!

I have been selling classes for over 3 years now! I’ve been listed in bustle, womens day and best life and you’re probs thinking what’s the catch?

At the moment this is being offered as a stand alone class, however it won’t be here forever as my plan is to include this class as a module in the ex-vangelical digital deconstruction course I am creating.

I’ve also been presenting classes and courses on the topics I love for 4 years now.
Here’s what one of my students has to say:

”I participated in Hana's candle Magick class recently. The class was packed full of information for the novice witch, like myself. Tips galore. Hana is generous with her time and gives ample time for questions. I highly recommend Hana and any class she would teach!” - Danielle Deskins

Again, what you receive if you take this class is 5 days worth of video lessons direct to your inbox giving you a full blown, easy to understand, look at the rapture doctrine and why it is FALSE so you can deconstruct from the fear associated with the rapture.

You’ll see the straight-forward tips and suggestions for dealing with family and friends still in the church. And, you will walk away with my a renewed sense of life!

Here’s another one of my happy students and customers:

I took this class as someone who has some religious trauma, but not from an Evangelical background. I found this to be incredibly informative and learned a lot that I don't recall from a Catholic upbringing. I also found it so helpful to process some things I didn't know I still carried. Hana has a beautiful teaching style which helps you through the hard stuff but keeps it light - so while it covers things in a great way, it lightens it up so you can sort of laugh through the process. highly recommend! - Brandi

Remember this is a limited time offer!

There’s low risk and big reward here folks!

You may have noticed that most of my classes are priced at the $80 mark so this is a huge WIN for you!

Don’t miss out!

NOTE: My church was not strict on the term “Book of Revelation” but I understand some churches were very strict on never saying “Revelations”. You will hear me call it Revelations a lot, and you know, desensitising yourself to the grammar strictness can be your first step in deconstructing this doctrine.

P.S. I am offering 5 free classes to folks who need this and can’t afford it. First come first served, no questions asked. Please email me at suburbanwitchery@gmail.com to access this.
[update: 3 left]

One of our lovely customers and repeat clients emailed this review of the Rapture class:
”I have followed Hana at Suburban Witchery for years, but her “Ridiculous Rapture Rhetoric” course undeniably solidifies her as both a spiritual guide and teacher.
Growing up in a toxic Pentecostal Assemblies of God community, it was easy for me to understand Hana’s passion to pursue the truth concerning the rapture. Hana’s dedication is evident through cited credentials in every facet of her extensive research; she is mindful of keeping to the facts. The course’s goal is not to persuade, but to present. Hana does a phenomenal job listing and outlining expectations of the course. Everything is presented clearly, concisely, and professionally in her emails, table of contents, videos, and follow up material. Despite being very selective about recording, I still ended with 7 pages of notes.

Some life-changing findings for me included learning:
- “Religious trauma syndrome” is very real.
-The word “rapture” is never listed in the Bible and is not equivalent to the Apocalypse.
-Rapture rhetoric began in the year 1830.
-
“Cult jumping” is a dangerous, often accidental phenomenon.

Above all, it is vital to ask:
-Are you being taught to be afraid?
-Who is gaining from my fear?
-What behavior does this cause?
-To whom is my subservience advantageous?

The information from this course sincerely changed my spiritual walk. I could not be more appreciative of Hana’s willingness to share her findings despite potentially facing harsh criticism. May she continue to strengthen others through her own vulnerability and desire for peace.” - Kate


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This space is a Trans, Non-binary, LGBTQIA+, Bipoc, ND friendly space. You are welcome & safe both on my platforms and in our sessions. I’d like to acknowledge the Yuggera people who are the Traditional Owners of the land on which I conduct my business and pay my respects to Elders past and present and emerging.

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